more observations...

I haven't written in a little while cause I didn't know what to say. Last week I was talking with Bessie (a 104 year old lady), and she can only make out my outline because her eyes are so bad. So, I like to hold her hand while we talk so that she knows I am there. She always holds my hand real tight, and sometimes will even stroke it with her thumb. We don't talk about much because she is depressed. She tells me how much life isn't worth living anymore...and I try to think of something to say. Sometimes I just sit there and hold her hand tighter...because i know she is right. At her age, all her friends, and some of her family has died, and she doesn't know Jesus so there is no purpose. I tried to tell her a little about Jesus, but it doesn't seem to sink in. Even though these times are super painful to be in, when I look back on them I cherish the silence I have spent with her. I cherish the time I spent listening to her. I really cherish her...as a person.
Patricia (42 yr. old MS patient) has been a little harder to go and visit with. On Sunday was her birthday, so on Monday I brought her flowers...She had asked for enchiladas, but I think she is on a strict diet, so I didn't want to bring in food. As sson as I walked in with the flowers she says, " where's my enchiladas, and gum?" (she loves gum, and I have brought her some before.) She didn't even see what I had in my hand. It was kind of disappointing because I was really excited to bring her flowers. I love flowers, and Chelle and I made a special trip to a cute little flower stand, and we picked them out ourselves...and then she doesn't even care. She wanted more than that! I was kind of pissed. So, I set the vase down on her table, explained why I couldn't bring the enchiladas, and left the room. As I was leaving she finally said thank you. Man, its hard to give to the ungrateful! I keep telling myself that I am not volunteering to get a thank you...but in a way I expected it.
The fellowship is coming to a close in a week or so. I am trying to figure out how much I can commit to spending at the non-profits after the fellowship is done. I will still be serving breakfast on Friday mornings throughout the semester at COA since I don't have school on Fridays. I am not sure about the other non-profits though. I would love to visit with Bessie, Patricia and Ruthie on a regular basis, but I don't know how fesible it would be. School gets pretty crazy, and this sesmter is my last one, yeah! Maybe I need to give up time hanging out with people so much, so I have time for visiting these ladies. I don't know what to do, its just a thought that has been mulling around in my head.